7 day isolation plan

7 Day Isolation Plan

I’m slightly losing my grip on what day it is, what month is it, on reality in general, and I'm not the only one according to the internet- so I’ve devised a plan.


I’ve come up with ideas of things to do for the next 7 days, a '7 Day Isolation Plan'.

I would have done a chart but, don’t know how, and I don’t have the time to be messing around with that.

Well, I mean obviously I do, but I just can’t be bothered.


If you want to join in, you could make it more fun (wahey!) by copy and pasting into a word document, spacing the daily points out a bit more, print them off, cut them out, put them in a jar and pick one out every day. That will waste at least 10 minutes, more if you want to decorate the jar.  

See full of ideas am I not?


This next week is going to fly by.....there are even treats to have every day!


Day 1: Learn something new...


Did you know it is impossible to hum while holding your nose?


Yes I know you are testing that out right now, however trying to do it can provide hours of entertainment if you are easily amused like me.


Treat: Glass of white wine.

Day 2: Sit outside for 5 minutes and listen to the noises around you...


If you don’t get anything else from being in the fresh air, it will keep you away from the fridge for 5 minutes. I’ve opened mine 4 times in the past half an hour. The hinges are going to fall off in a few days from overuse if the squeaking is anything to go by.


Treat: Glass of red wine and some cheese so the fridge doesn't get lonely.

Day 3: Go through all of you old Facebook photos...


Cropping out ex’s where necessary and posting #throwbackthursday pictures to remind you of happier times.


Treat: Glass of Rose (how do you do the ‘ over the e? Oh well, at least now you know I tried.)

Day 4: Try to cut and dye your own hair...


There are Youtube videos to help you with this, however after watching a few you will probably reconsider, but you will waste a good few hours watching the disaster videos. #thankgoodnessforisolation


Treat: Apple juice aka cider

Day 5: Start writing your memoirs...


Or just make up some stories to make your life more interesting:


Today I flew into Vienna from New York for a photo shoot for Vogue. Kate Moss was going to be asked but they begged me to do it, so obviously being the good person I am, I accepted. The £5 million I am going to be paid helped too.


What?! It sounds better than.... I considered getting out of bed at 10am, 3 hours later I dragged myself from my pit to have a shower and it took hour for me to brush my teeth.

Then I went into the kitchen, which has become my favourite place apart from the bathroom (when I eventually get in it), where I spend hours picking stray hairs from various places.


Treat: Remaining white wine, if all gone remaining then red wine, if all gone remaining rose (‘).

Day 6: Try baking gin/vodka/beer bread...


I haven’t actually tried it but everything tastes better with alcohol in it. I’d say go for a standard bread recipe and throw in some alcohol. Perhaps have a fire extinguisher close by- just in case.


Treat: Remaining cider because no one buys one cider, and you only had one the other day right?

Day 7: Book a holiday/mini break/ day out...


I would suggest booking it for 2022 as hopefully things might possibly be slightly normal again.


Treat: Make a cocktail out of what is left in your alcohol stash. If you have nothing, weep and message your neighbours to leave some on your doorstep.

Have a good week!

I do not own any of the pictures. Think I have to put that so I don't get in trouble...

I'm a lil drunk right now. I think, but I have felt like this for a couple of weeks so not really sure anymore.